Banshee nights

 Fonn ar eagla é rian an doimhneacht oíche.
 Bean sídhe tógtha i céir caoineadh zour caoin adh i dúinn.
 Bás timpeall orainn hastily leis an bháisteach 'guth
 Foirtil cnaipe a bhrollach bog i gcoinne ár thorax.


You sense her liquified as you drown in her smoky flavour. Streams of green light burning your soul, emerging from flesh. It's the glimpse you seek, have you stopped searching for it ? The torch of sacred fire lightens my bare body, slowly fading into the skies' blue abbys.
His hair was a light auburn and his hands of a singular delicacy and whiteness, owing, I dare say, as much to his sensible, sober and rational character as to his infirm health. Between death and morrow, he seeks the light of sorrow. There once was a beautiful lady, whose porcelain face was white as milk. Her voice - the sweetnes of the honey, her eyes - as deep as devil's heart, with shadows conjuring in flames of green. As she dripped in venom pouring words, he slowly danced across the moon-lit graves. Her voice, it temped even the shallowest seagul.
O'Niamh Étaín looked up at the lighthouse. Its' shadows and lights game was nothing but the tearing image of night. Waves crushing; powerfully protruding through pure innocence's cry. Pasionately striking the ground, her emptiness filling the air. A dance of colours makes autumnal feelings painted red. Twilight of grief, she shall not strive for years thus far they sung. As she swayed, his gaze reflected in her silk pale-pink, scarlet flavoured dress, as their feet matched, she ran away, leaving rose petal traces in the dew stained grass. She promised to be his eternal love, and strangely, he believed her. Lips melting one into another, warmth and ice, the whole world vibrating at the same pace as their hearts. His whole world turning into her. But as the night faded in black, her mad blue eyes lit up the way. The morning's freshness found them dreaming, from out her bower, lights went streaming. And on the morrow they awoke, They knew that sorrow her heart had broke. His speech was fearful as the sad and sunken eyes of blue. Appetite burning fiercely the hunger quickly taking control. Run in a race of fire and harmony, dizzy blurred eyes - a sincere haze of beauty, gazed over with pure longing. Pulse running into her beating blood, her heart pumping in anticipation. His face was cold, his lips were gray, as slivery the water ray rolls to his carotide vein.


Eithne, be gone...


Be gone thou from here, you shall leave the souls
rest in peace, let them cease, with solid ground.
And bless their soul, be gone banshee
Beyond the soil we shall sleep on happy
The banshee shall return, but fear us with all your might
We’ll burn and turn you into seas’ of urn...




…but this time someone caught me and tied me. So I’ll never go away.


…but this time, my fall turned into a dance in a chilly night, down the Danube

Iar ma impingi in boscheti...

De sus, de pe sarma, lumea pare diferita. Atunci cand simti firele ascutite ale condamnarii intrandu-ti in talpi, facundu-te sa vibrezi de durere pana in maduva spinarii, nu te mai deranjeaza stransoarea rece a coastelor ce se rup in inclestarea lor nebuna. Simt ca am ramas fara cuvinte, undeva departe, unde glasul meu nu patrunde zidurile de cristal ale lumii. Esti atat de aproape de mine, si inca nu imi simti caldura. Sunt atat de departe, inecata in veninul propriei vieti, in propria-mi tacere. Prin prisma incetosata a inimii mele, prin obiectivul spart al mintii innegurate, retraiesc fiecare clipa.
Tacere... Oare e si pustiu ? Stare de nesiguranta. Anxietate, angoasa... Imi vine sa-mi sfasii pielea de pe mine, dar nu mai are cine sa-mi bea sangele. Tu nu intelegi ca moartea nu e un simplu moft. O simt zbatandu-se evanescent in mine, rozandu-mi maruntaiele. Mana ta calda imi aluneca pe obraz...
Azi a venit toamna. Am asteptat fiecare strop de ploaie cu inima pulsandu-mi intr-un ritm alert in piept. In ploaia rece de toamna, isi pot gasi lacrimile refugiul, fara sa lase dare albe in masca mea perfecta. Cred ca mi-e dor s-alerg desculta in ploaia rece, sa plang pana simt ca lacrimile-mi sufoca ultima gura de oxigen, sa dansez nebuna in ritmul melancolic al ploii. Moment... Atat de departe, ca nici dintii patrunzandu-mi pielea nu ma pot aduce inapoi. Dialog imaginar...
Asta e oare eliberarea ? Am facut un scurt popas inaintea intrarii in timp, lasand eternitatea sa-si faca treaba. Doua secunde s-au transformat in ore intregi de contemplat la chipul tau, cu ochii de nuanta caramelului scurgandu-se in gri-ul absent al lumii. Nu merit zambetul tau strengaresc, parca smuls de pe marginea unei foi de jurnal. De ce l-as merita ? Inca mai simt aroma dulce-a primului sarut, arzandu-mi buzele crapate... Sarut cu guste de sange, imbratisare pierduta-n peisajul sumbru, parfum de lemn arzand mocnit si brad sub zapada de diamant a iernii.
-Stii... Am crezut ca totul e doar un vis. Un vis dur, in nuante de gri, care se machiaza pervers in culori aprinse pentru a te fenta... Am considerat fiecare clipa doar un alt ideal desprins din lumea asta. Nu am suportat mizeria asta, stindardul ciuruit al dragostei... Dar viata... Hm... Mi-a mai dat o sansa.
In dulceata ochilor tai mari, ma pierd si imi dau lacrimile.
-Viata e chiar naiva... Sa-ti mai dea o sansa la fericire. Si in timpul asta sa te tachineze cu atigerea ei delicata.
In conturul buzelor tale, pot scrie o poveste, dar pe parcurs, vorbele pier in stingerea ecourilor.
Ma pierd in jocul tau fugar, in caldura ametitoare a corpului tau. O joaca mai perversa de iluzii si intonatii nu am mai intalnit… Ma vezi altfel, asa as vreau sa fiu, sa nu trebuiasca sa vreau sa-ti spun ca mor… Nu acum, nu azi…te rog… prefa-te ca-ti pasa, nu mai rade la gafele mele de fetiscana inamorata…

Listening to Vama Veche - Pe sarma
                   Opeth - Still Day Beneath the Sun
                   Opeth - Forest of October
                   Placebo - Pure Morning
                   Rammstein - Feuer Frei
                   Rammstein - Liebe ist Fur Alle Da
                   Guns'n'Roses - Every Rose Has Its Thorn
                   Sonic Syndicate - Denied
                   Clint Mansell - Shellshock (another day, another dollar)
Eating: nothing
Drinking: Water with lemon and a little glass of Limoncello
Watching : Thirst
                 Kuroshitsuji ep. 11
Drawing manga.

Ash

Dedicated to Grima/Masaru-kun.

Another post from the smokes of my past. Soon you'll be bored to death.


Buried in the shadows of past, scratching the white cotton paper. I'm deep drown in the still dark waters, craving for your body. Bloodshot eyes longing for your heavenly embrace. Selfishness...
Kneel me silently... As I touch my neck, I feel your cold hands squeezing my neck... Crush my bones, suck the blood running through my arteries and veins.
Burn my heart with your fire. Breathless, heart racing, I see a sadistic smile rising upon your face.
Pierce my spine with your needles. You strap my arms behind my back with your long silk scarf. Chain me in darkness. Watch me drench in my own blood. 
Feed on my blood, cause it's all I have. The blood of poison and your cold memory.
Whip my face with your icy tears, 'till you won't need to cry. I feel your gaze upon my chest, striking me right in my heart.  It's hard to breathe, it's hard to see, I slip in between the lines. Through the smoke stained images, I can't reach you.
Poison my lungs with your warm deep breath. Saccadic movements. Come to me... Wrap me in your deathly kiss.
I'm useless, Masaru-sama... But I struggle in your fierce scene. I'm just an actor in the play you wrote for our lives. I'm a dancer in your strings.
I took one last drag off of the cigarette I'd be puffing on for the past 10 minutes and flicked it to the ground. It only took a second for the cherry to die out on the rain soaked concrete. Ash... melting in the wet ground. Snowflakes... I wait calm, almost lethargic, tired of playing this kind of role, a role I've played so many times that it just won't attract me in any way now. I do not consider myself a worthy actor, although I came to the same question as one : Who am I ? Which of this white, straight masks is my true self ? In a see of faces and characters, you come to lose yourself. Just that I know my answer, but it won't make any sense without you by my side. I'll sit here calm and wait for you to return.
I watch the pouring rain. I'm alone in this balcony of smoke flavours, away from the world that threw you away, world that I've locked in a coffin and buried it deep in the dark, torture chambers of a lost castle. You are all that defines me, and my world is a mess without you.  A collapse of filth... I walk on the ashes of a cold forgotten winter night.



Slowly I awoke that morning, the night having been spent in the peaceful slumber upon sheets of crimson colored velvet. My eyes fluttering open and glancing around the dusty, white morning light lit room, I see a stream of smoke, slowly going up in circles. And what remains is the hot ashes of the wake.
I am the cancer within myself.

Copyright to Jul. :X [Pentru ca e una din putinele persoane pe care le iubesc>:D<]
http://julia629.deviantart.com/

Inspired by Lamb of God - Ashes of the Wake album. :X It's pure genius.
Eating: Cateva galuste cu prune reci pe care am uitat sa le mananc mai devreme.
Drinking: Still Water
Smoking: Nothing. Sugar, dunno:)).
Sorry for my absolutely horrible english>.< .

Smoke me and let me die.

I'm trembling... It's like a crazy tremble and it won't stop. His face finally stopped folowing me... Yet, I need it. After trying to get reed of the filth, of the sadness within my soul, trying to forget every shadow of the past flowing in smoke... I realized I can't. I don't want to. I still need him. I don't need the air filling my lungs like I need his cold, yet warm embrance. I'm shivering... Shivering like the wind... Whispers of dried, dead leaves falling. I am shivering in the shadow of my soul, that couldn't hide me from the world. My room is crashing me between its walls. Steam of hot tea with cherry fragrance... I went out, trying to stop this feeling of misery and pain. The morning dew and rain smell still lingers here. And while I walk on the streets of this dirty world, I am still shaking. The empty masks watch me while I shake like a junkie asking for his dose. I am asking for my dose. My teeth are clattering. Stop messing around with me, with the pieces of my soul. I need the smoke of BlackStone Cherry cigarettes.
- A BlackStone Cherry, please. Long.
Stop this. Why am I still a doll dancing in the strings of darkness? To late... I'm home and I'm lighting my cigarette. I don't need clothes. I am naked and smoke is all I need to clothe me. I need this smoke, taking your form, embracing me with its charred, cherry flavour. But this cigarette is tasteless. It lost the sweet flavour and its just the filthy nicotine rushing in my veins. I won't hide in my long scarf or fluffy blanket. No... I would just stain them with my bloodlust tears. I watch the calm smoke flowing in the air... I see you. I'm dying. I'm falling from this empty grey sky. This grey shaded sky that is almost pure white. Actually was... My glassy, smoke filled eyes can't feel the pure feeling of the morning dew anymore. They're dead, not radiant. I'm falling. And no one will catch me. I watch that shy woulds on my hands... The scars are scratched on my cord. You can cut the strings, yet they'll still hold me. This taste of smoke makes me choke 'till I relax and wait to die. But I won't. Am I scared?... No, I'm falling. I'm falling on the rusty leaves of autumn. Don't look at me. Why would you? While you're struggling for your life, I'm struggling to get away from mine. I will always remember your Marlboro lips and smokey sad grey-brown eyes. Or the way you smiled as you pressed your body against mine. Your body hazy, the outline smudged just like a mirage in the cold, white sun. Transparent lie... Liquid blue rushing through my body.
You were my life... And now you still are the silent silhouette in the fading light, in my fading memory... While the sky darkens like your old letters, a tear streams from my eyes. I digged into my face, creating ditches... So don't worry... It's just the sanity leaving me alone. Breath becomes quicker, with a saccadic rhytm, almost shallow. We were made of smoke. Smoke that billowed from his cigarette and wrapped itself around us, pouring its coldness dust over our lonely bodies. Smoke that kissed his lungs and burned his cheek, smoke that he swallowed whole, gray, whirling smoke. It filled his veins and empty places, like poison... Slowly making him die... A rotten flower, like a cryptorchid. One last smoke... aaaahh... filling my lungs with pain. Is it enough? And tears that come one after another. Sitting in stillnes, hearing a haunting melody... I'm a banshee mourning death. This smoke burns my flesh... Never ending agony, repetance of my sins. I inhale you, and I exhale myself.

There's something cold and blank behind her smile
She's standing on an overpass
In a miracle mile

"You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today today to run away"


A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself


Her mouth was an empty cut
And she was waiting to fall
Just bleeding like a polaroid that
Lost all her dolls


A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself.



Mood: very depressed
Listening: Gustav Mahler - Quartet for Piano and Strings in A Minor
               Richard Wagner
               Evanescence - My Immortal
Drinking: Cherry and Jasmin Sencha [my speciality]
Eating: Blood
Breathing: Imaginary smoke
Fragrance: Davidoff - Cool Waters Woman [ca sa vezi...]
Watching: Old photos which I totally love.

         

Inspiratie fotografica de ora 10:00

Model: Myself, no make-up, not too many clothes:))

Copyright to Lex

http://ieromahero.deviantart.com/

                                                     
Scuzati-mi mirobolanta engleza. Scris in graba, cu maini tremurande. Nu m-ar mira sa fi scris cele mai mari tampenii. Inspiratie de moment.